Every mentoring relationship is different. Some connections build easily, others take time, and occasionally things don’t click. That’s normal. What matters most is how both people respond.
A mentoring relationship might not be working if:
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Meetings keep being cancelled or postponed with little notice;
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Conversations feel awkward, one-sided, or lack direction;
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Either person feels uncomfortable or unheard;
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There’s a consistent mismatch in expectations or communication style.
Mentoring is meant to challenge, but not to drain. If the experience starts feeling like a chore rather than a learning space, it’s time to talk about it.
Step One: Reflect Honestly #
Before assuming the relationship has failed, take a moment to reflect.
Ask yourself:
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Have I been clear about what I need or expect?
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Have I prepared for meetings and followed through on agreed actions?
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Have I allowed time for trust to develop?
Sometimes, small shifts like setting clearer goals or adjusting how you communicate can make a big difference.
Step Two: Have a Conversation #
If things still don’t feel right, raise it calmly and early. You might say:
“I’ve noticed our meetings haven’t flowed as well recently, and I wanted to check if there’s anything we could do differently.”
This opens the door to an honest discussion without blame. Mentors and mentees can use this moment to revisit expectations, clarify boundaries, or agree on practical changes such as meeting frequency or format. Avoid letting frustration build quietly. Open, respectful communication can often realign the relationship.
Step Three: Involve The Land Collective Team #
If the issue continues or feels too difficult to manage alone, contact the TLC team. We can:
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Mediate a conversation between both parties.
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Provide guidance on how to move forward.
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Rematch the mentee with another mentor if appropriate.
We’d rather know early than find out later that someone quietly disengaged. The mentoring experience should always feel constructive, safe, and purposeful.
Step Four: Learn From It #
If a match doesn’t work, it doesn’t mean it was wasted. Understanding what didn’t click – communication style, scheduling, goals, or expectations; helps both people grow. The reflection you do here will strengthen future mentoring experiences and inform how we refine the programme.
When It’s More Serious #
If there’s behaviour that feels disrespectful, inappropriate, or uncomfortable, contact the TLC team immediately. Don’t try to resolve it alone. These issues will be handled under our safeguarding and conduct policies to ensure everyone’s wellbeing.
